Almost as if all the things we used to do naturally-- taking care of each other, taking care of our children, educating our children-- are being 'professionalized'; freeing up the people that otherwise have been doing those things (friends, parents) to engage in even more 'professions'. More tax revenue, more top-level control; more misery overall.
Very true Ben...and in this article, we can trace the dysfunctional tentacles back to the intentional undermining and destruction of the nuclear family - and the infiltration of the opportunists, to fill the space.
When we lost the reservoirs of knowledge, wisdom and common sense held by elder extended family members - we lost the natural and legacy methods of problem solving, coping, growth and care. The difference between that model and the "for profit" ones of today, is that those family elders- on the whole - had your and the family's future wellbeing at heart. Today, with VERY few exceptions, the 1 hour blocks of "care" from providers, cannot match that...no matter how they may try.
Add to that, the clear fact, that social, political and moral agendas are being injected into this "care" and you have intentional and unintentional purveyors of something, that is most assuredly not care.
There is no magic in the sheep skin on the wall...our great great grand parents did the same things and did them better, than they do today, in an hour long office visit.
Now since I just micro/macro aggressed many out there (another wonderful psycho-bable concept) let me say, I've had some very good counselors, in my past. Luckily, it was pre-woke-industrial-complex and they approach things from a very neutral starting point. Their strongest tool was not their degree, but something we all have the ability to do - see and assess a situation with clarity, because we are outside of it.
The roots of this Therapy Culture go back aways in our post -60s West. 1) the definition of 'depression' got expanded to include any kind of unhappiness. 2) 'Self esteem' became the ultimate life goal because your wonderful narcissistic little self could - by definition - do no wrong. The rest, as they say, is history..... and Therapeutic misery.
Yes! "That's what friends are for" has been replaced with "get help" and not just young people! I think there's an additional huge reason for the over-reliance on therapy in this age of instant global public shaming via social media: confidentiality. People don't trust each other not to share their woes and secrets, and rightfully so it could well be argued. Priests, pastors etc. used to fill a useful role that way. My mother, an atheist, relied on the help of a minister to escape an abusive marriage. He was the only one in a gossipy small town she could trust with her secret plan. Not that there weren't/aren't abuses to that role of course, but at least it's not profit driven.
I’ve read this post and I think many of the points you make or allude to are not very good arguments. You also seem to have your own assumptions and you often respond to those rather than engage with the actual topics. I’ve written a response that’s longer than it should be, but if anyone bothers to read it, I hope you’ll see a better way to think about this topic. Here is my criticism.
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1. You say that these companies pathologize normal distress and present therapy as the solution to all problems. But that is just your interpretation of it, and it’s based on the traditional perspective that’s similar to “therapy is for crazy people” (this is what people used to believe). Or perhaps closer to what you seem to believe: “Go to therapy when you’re suffering enough to warrant getting help”. Do you think that people should seek therapy only when they are suffering from depression, generalized anxiety, or PTSD? I think the smart thing to do is to go to therapy before this happens so that people can learn useful strategies they can use to deal with their problems before they get too serious and hopefully avoid them.
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Let’s compare going to a therapist with going to the doctor. Some people only go to the doctor when they are very sick, which is sometimes too late for them to get less invasive treatment or, in extreme cases, to save their lives. Instead of doing that, I would argue it’s smart to do get your bloodwork done and see a doctor early on if you have a problem – even if it’s not a big problem yet. Do you have a mole that looks suspicious? Don’t wait until it grows a lot to have a doctor look at it. The same with therapy: don’t wait until you’re so depressed you can’t get out of bed in the morning.
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2. In this article you’re basically using a straw man argument – claiming that therapy will solve all problems and heal you from being human, etc. I don’t know where you got this idea, but I doubt any therapist would say that’s what they are trying to do with their patients. The goal of therapy is to help people identify their problems (get a proper diagnosis if they have one), to help them understand themselves and learn useful strategies to help them deal with problems so they leave better lives. What exactly is the problem with this??? If they don’t suffer too much, people should just suck it up instead of learning how to express what they feel, think about it, regulate their emotions, or find useful coping strategies? Plus a therapist can observe a person and determine if what they experience is a normal reaction or a serious mental illness that needs to be treated differently.
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3. You seem to have a problem with Big Pharma, but let’s be real: the pharmaceutical industry has saved many lives, it has cured many diseases, and helped prolong people’s lives while also making them better. Few industries do so much to help humanity. Is the problem that these companies don’t do it out of the goodness of their hearts but mainly for profit? Wow, a company that wants to make money! That’s crazy! This doesn’t mean that everything they do is great and there’s nothing to complain about, but then complain about the problems. If you have a valid complaint, express that rather than throwing around “Big Pharma” and “Big Therapy” like it’s supposed to be a good argument. Do you also have a problem with Big Food, Big Electricity, Big Book? The companies that sell these things also want to increase their profits.
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4. You claim you’re worried that young people misdiagnose themselves based on the misinformation they see on TikTok (which is a big problem!). But what is the best way for young people to learn if they really have a mental illness or just a normal (or exaggerated) reaction to something that is happening in their lives? The best thing to do is…see a therapist who is a professional that can use the right instruments to assess what the person is experiencing, whether they need treatment or whether they just need to understand themselves and change the way they think about their lives.
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5. As you mentioned, many young people are alone, or they don’t have many friends to talk to or they prefer to spend their time on their phones. And perhaps these therapy companies are trying to fill that gap. Why is that a problem? Maybe young people prefer having a therapist to talk to than trying to find new friends. Is this ideal? Maybe. Maybe not. But then, tell us: what do you think should happen? Should parents or governments force young people to go outside and talk to other strangers (for free) that may become their friends – if they don’t seem to do this on their own? Or do you think that if all these therapy companies close up shop, young people will magically throw away their phones and start to spend time outdoors talking to other young people in person?
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6. You’ve created this antithesis between friends and strangers (specifically strangers you pay for therapy), while also talking as if they are pretty much the same thing. But they are very different, and they fulfill different roles – even if you seem to insinuate that most people don’t need therapy and they should just talk to their friends about it. Therapists can offer several things that friends cannot: 1. they have the expertise to observe and diagnose people if they have a condition, 2. they can provide support and teach you strategies based on scientific evidence, 3. they are less biased. Despite talking about friends and therapists (strangers you pay, as you keep saying), you seem to think that one can replace the other. That’s like saying that instead of paying a stranger to figure out what’s wrong with your body, you should just ask your friends and family about it. I’m drawing the parallel because a therapist should help you with the problems of your mind as a doctor helps you with the problems of your body. Technically you need a professional to help you figure out if your problems are normal or pathological. And the best way to find out if you need professional help is to book a consultation with one.
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7. The people who don’t want to date someone because they don’t go to therapy are people who see therapy as a tool that can be used for self-knowledge and growth. If someone values that, it makes sense that they would prefer someone who values that as well. It’s similar to someone saying they want to date people who read non-fiction books or have an active lifestyle. It’s a matter of personal preference.
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8. Another thing you seem to fail to understand is what people can do in their circumstances. Think about it. If someone really is struggling with depression, anxiety, distress or something else and they spend a lot of time indoors, using their devices, well then what do you think is easier for them to do: go outside and talk to strangers (for free, because paying for help is problematic as you’ve made it clear) or schedule a talk to a professional that can help them from the comfort of their home?? It’s obvious that the second one is a smaller step, therefore a step they are more likely to take – since, you know, these people may have their own challenges and cannot magically sum up the courage or motivation they need to do something that feels scary to them at first. Perhaps you do not have this problem so you may not be able to understand what it’s like for someone who does.
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9. Your title insinuates that some people or these companies claim that “everyone needs therapy”. Yet from what you mentioned here, it sounds more like they are trying to normalize therapy (reduce the stigma associated with it) and to claim that everyone can benefit from therapy – even if not everyone needs it. However, honestly, I would go as far as to say that probably everyone needs a little bit of therapy. Many people have maladaptive coping mechanisms, dysfunctional dynamics in their relationships, and do things that either do not increase or actually decrease their wellbeing, so a therapist could help them identify these issues and help them find ways to manage them.
1. Freya acknowledges that therapy has a place and there are times when people genuinely benefit from it and need it to heal and live better, healthier lives. People should not have to go to a therapist to learn how to cope with their own lives, althuogh many of us did lose out on acquiring such in our childhood developmental periods which is tragic, but should not be the norm. For those who come from particular rhigher-risk backgrounds, I can get behind having therapy offered to them early on to help in a preventative manner, but otherwise it should not be the case.
2. Perhaps a slight exaggeration but the fact of the matter is that many in the masses are understanding therapy to be a sort of cure-all for even the regular struggles in life. There are plenty of therapists who are unable to genuinely help and actually worsen the issues of their patients (think those who see their therapist for years and it's more of a gossip hour with no progress actually made) and while I understand that different therapists suit different types of people differently, the fact is that there are instances in which certification is nonexistent or not actually valuable despite technically being legitimate.
3. Many people have been saved by medications and doings inherently tied to Big Pharma, but this does not change that Big Pharma is an issue as it currently stands. People are being over-medicated en masse and it is causing a great many issues! Especially with how costs work as well, the issue is not what is (unfortunately) being held hostage by Big Pharma, but that Big Pharma is holding it hostage and not allowing for more good to be done for those in need while also encouraging more patients be acquired for as long as possible each.
4. I agree that learning about potential problems one may have is not a bad thing, but TikTok (like Tumblr, and I say this from experience) tends to glorify these things which young girls happen to be of a nature to take to an extreme. I'm not against having content to teach, as I don't think Freya would be either, but it is about how they are doing it more than that they are doing it at all. I would also add that one should not go immediately to a therapist if they suspect there to be such an issue. One ought start with their general practitioner/ primary care doctors (adults) / pediatrician (children) and see what they think first, get a second and even third opinion if they truly feel it necessary and go from there. Maybe the doctor who has worked with that person as an established patient (and so should know them to some degree) will refer to a therapist or offer a list to reach out to, or maybe not. But to immediately seek a therapist is not (usually) going to be the right move.
5. No one is advocating to use the law to force kids outside (at least I hope not!), but there is something to be said about the inability of kids to go out as they used to being a negative influence on their well-being. As someone who has talked to her former psychologist in-person as well over call/video-call, there are times when digital appointments are nifty and even superior, however constant access especially for young people is dangerous as it can easily become a crutch (think, parasocial relationships), not to mention that it blurs the line between practitioner and patient. With my doctor, the rule was always to wait for appointments UNLESS there were something more urgent. If I were actively going to hurt myself or others, I was to go to the ER and have myself admitted. If it weren't that extreme but I was having an abnormally intense fight with my mental disorder symptoms, then I could call the after hours line (can't think of the proper name for it) where a hospital attendant would connect me to my doctor and we could talk as soon as the doctor got the message and was available. It is unhealthy to let people get accustomed to thinking they always have someone who can help them in bad times, as such is not realistic and cripples when it inevitably does happen, but also it asks more of the therapists than they should have to be offering for services.
6. A lot of what people now go to therapy for used to be aided by proper social engagements and keeping close friends. There is a difference between friends and strangers/professionals! But this has been blurred by therapy culture, sort of touched on in my replies already. People who have more extreme issues do need to be seen and treated by proper professionals, but most people do not need this and (in all but the recent past) were usually able to get through these distresses with those they kept close socially.
7. I semi-agree with you on this but more because I think that if someone believes everyone should be seeing a therapist then they should probably only date people who also believe it for the sake of sanity of those involved. Those who understand that is not healthy will not want to put up with such and/or made worse by it in the longterm, and those who already agree should have no issues and if they do can talk about it to their therapists to their hearts' desire. Will say, I believe couples' therapy should be a thing, but only as needed for the uncommon circumstances of couples desperate to save what beauty they have had.
8. Touched on this a bit earlier too, but this is not what is being said. There should be options for those unable to go conventional routes, however what is currently out is too much and premise for major problems for a lot of people. Of course, we will never be able to perfect accessibility, and so no matter what, an amount of people will always fall through the cracks. It's upsetting and we should do our best to minimize it, but we have to acknowledge and accept that it is a fact.
9. Normalizing therapy would not be pushing it at everyone and implying that any problem in life is cause for needing a therapist (which is the gist, even if not directly stated, that is often given by these). We should accept that some people need therapy and be proud of them when they seek it and work at it to better themselves! We shouldn't shame people for going to therapy when they genuinely need it. The difference is that there has been a cultural shift in mentality that everyone should have their own therapist and that therapy should be a regular thing everyone does (which is not healthy, and should not be the case). Normalizing and pushing boundaries are two different things though they can look similar in ways. Again, Freya actively states that she believes people who truly need help by means of therapy should be able to access therapy (and most likely, not be shamed for it by others).
I think that we all agree on the basics here; everyone should be able to get access to help that they need via therapy. The difference is that this is a more nuanced issue in which the general conception of therapy has become extreme and many now think of it, not as a means of getting help for their health, but as something that should be part of any normal person's life.
There are still good therapists out there despite that there are many that aren't. Maybe most of these groups Freya is calling out do mean well despite that what they're offering isn't actually a good solution to the problem at hand. Reality remains what it is, though, and that is that most should not need therapy nor have it normalized to the point they believe it almost essential and constantly available, as has become the case.
I’ll keep this as short as I can because I’m not interested in back-and-forth essays. But:
1. “People should not have to go to a therapist to learn how to cope with their own lives.” Says who? You get to decide what people should or shouldn’t do? You decided that people should not need to or want to go to therapy, and this magically makes everyone ok? Or you just don’t care?
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2. Talking about how some therapists are not very good does not deny my argument at all. You’re just adding a new – albeit related – topic.
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3. Big Pharma, the industry that makes life-saving and useful treatments is an issue? You’d rather live in a world where it doesn’t exist? You say that people are over-medicated. Do you have any scientific evidence of that? I’m not interested in conspiracy theories or unfounded claims. Again, you should not be surprised that businesses care about profits. Any company does that.
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4. If someone suspects they have a mental illness, the first person they should see is a therapist/psychologist since these are the people professionally trained to deal with this type of problem. If you have a skin issue, you see a dermatologist – it’s logical. It makes no sense to send someone to a professional specialized in something else…You have a problem with Big Pharma but you think it’s a good idea for a person to see multiple doctors, have several appointments instead of having one with the type of professional trained for this?
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5. So your solution is restricted access to therapists because you assume this is better for them. I could argue it’s better for them to have access whenever they need it. Unless we can find evidence for which one is better, we don’t actually know. Your experience is not enough to settle this.
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6. You don’t get to decide for everyone what they do or do not need. And just because friends can offer support or advice it does not mean it’s always the best support or advice a person can get.
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7. Again, you seem to think you know what’s normal and best for everyone. Where is this coming from and why the certainty??
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8. See nr. 1 and 7.
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9. Again, see nr. 1 and 7.
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You’ve claimed several times that most people don’t need therapy or shouldn’t need therapy with such certainty that I wonder what this is based on. Omniscience? Do you know that most people do not have issues they want to solve (and should solve) or things they want to improve and can only do in therapy? Are you the one that sets the threshold of what is a big enough problem to warrant getting professional help for everyone else? Because that’s the way you talk…if you don’t see a problem with this, perhaps you *should* consult a therapist about it.
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Anyway, you and everyone else are free to think whatever you want. I’ve shared my arguments already.
I was hoping to find common ground and work from there, but I see you don’t have the interest as you couldn’t have accurately understood my points by what you said. I have no interest in conversing if the other party is entirely unwilling to actually discuss as well, but it seems you’ve no interest in discussing, just preaching what you believe and insisting others are saying things that they aren’t.
If you’d like to honestly and in good faith discuss and even debate, I’d be happy to oblige! I’m not operating off anything but reality on top of my own “lived experiences”.
For your primary complaint that I maintain most people shouldn’t need therapy, let me say this:
As a species we would have never made it anywhere near this far if the vast majority of us have always been so easily distraught over so many, and especially minor, things. The world has changed in how we operate (technological advancements have changed a lot against our nature) but we shouldn’t have to send all/‘most of our children to beyond their families and neighborhoods just so they can live a decent or better life. There should be something natural in developing as people that lends us to not needing such aid with the exceptions being awful instances which are most definitely not the norm.
You are right: I am not really interested in a discussion or debate here. As a rule, I prefer to engage with people only when they are rational and use critical thinking. Since you make claims about what is good for everyone with high certainty based only on your personal opinion and experience, it is clear you are not doing that (no offense intended).
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Your last paragraph is another great illustration of this. Your reasoning about “people should not need therapy” is basically an appeal to nature – this is a fallacy or a mistake in reasoning that is often used. Claiming that something is good because it is natural (or how things used to be in the past) or claiming that something else is bad because it is unnatural (new and only exists in our current society) is not a good argument at all.
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By this reasoning, people who get illnesses should be left to suffer or die because that’s what happened in the past. After all, most people who are saved by big pharma and medical interventions would have died in the past. One could say: there should be something natural in developing as people that leads us to not needing so much help (from doctors) with the exceptions being awful instances which are most definitely not the norm. I just applied your own argument about mental health to physical health – but you probably don’t agree with it in this context.
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Just to say this: I do not have a problem with you. I simply think that the way you engaged here shows that the way you reason – at least in this interaction - can be improved. And this can be said about most people.
Your last paragraph sums my perspective up precisely as well. We are clearly operating off of different and incompatible paradigms. I wish you all the best and harbor no hard feelings.
Actually, I'm not a therapist. So the only thing your comment proves is that you're reacting based on assumptions rather than engaging with the content of my comment - something I've criticized in my comment as well...
Replace therapist for heavy user with zero self-awareness of her own bias and flaws despite being quick to point these out in others. Maybe a talking point for your next session Paula?
You must be God almighty if you can read my mind and see that I have zero self-awareness of my own bias and flaws. Nice to meet you! Have a good life! Perhaps see a therapist if this is how you feel the need to talk to strangers online just because you don't like what they said. Oh, and I love all the excellent rational arguments you made here.
Lol, because that's a totally normal and rational response! It's not that I don't like what you say (it's of no importance to me) I just thought I'd try and hold a mirror up to your own behaviour in the interest of fairness. You sound absolutely unhinged by the way
>If they don’t suffer too much, people should just suck it up instead of learning how to express what they feel, think about it, regulate their emotions, or find useful coping strategies?
I'm baffled by your apparent belief that one can only "learn how to express what they feel, think about it, regulate their emotions or find useful coping strategies" in a clinical setting with a therapist. What exactly do you think people did before 1886? Moreover, do you think anyone who hasn't attended therapy is completely incapable of expressing how they feel, regulating their emotions or using healthy coping strategies?
>5. As you mentioned, many young people are alone, or they don’t have many friends to talk to or they prefer to spend their time on their phones. And perhaps these therapy companies are trying to fill that gap. Why is that a problem? Maybe young people prefer having a therapist to talk to than trying to find new friends. Is this ideal? Maybe. Maybe not. But then, tell us: what do you think should happen?
>Many people have maladaptive coping mechanisms... and do things that either do not increase or actually decrease their wellbeing
Does it not strike you as obvious that spending all of your time on your phone and depending on a therapist for a social outlet is the precisely the kind of maladaptive coping mechanism one might rely on INSTEAD of going outside and trying to meet people and make actual friends?
>However, honestly, I would go as far as to say that probably everyone needs a little bit of therapy.
I would disagree, and in fact I would go so far to say as therapy can often have a net-negative impact on people's lives or the lives of the people around them (see https://quillette.com/2023/08/08/beware-psychotherapy-that-works/). You seem to be essentially denying the possibility of iatrogenic harm in a psychotherapeutic setting, even though this is an obvious risk in literally every other kind of medical treatment.
>If you have a valid complaint, express that rather than throwing around “Big Pharma” and “Big Therapy” like it’s supposed to be a good argument.
Freya's argument, as I understand it, is that Big Pharma (and Big Therapy, by extension) has a financial incentive to pathologise ordinary negative emotions and mental distress as symptomatic of clinical mental illness, and that this pathologisation may have unintended consequences. Consider the fact that antidepressant prescription for children aged 15 and under has increased more than 130 per cent in the last ten years (https://www.irishtimes.com/health/2023/06/02/antidepressant-prescriptions-for-under-15s-up-130-since-2012-hse-figures-show/). Do you think young children are twice as likely to be depressed in 2022 as in 2012? Do you think that the rate of depression in this cohort has stayed the same and half of the children who ought to have been prescribed antidepressants in 2012 were suffering in silence, but now we've "broken the stigma" and more children who need antidepressants are getting them? Or is it possible that many children are being prescribed antidepressants that they don't really need? (These hypotheses are not mutually exclusive.)
Prescribing someone antidepressants is not a costless action: they come with side effects including weight gain/loss, tiredness, emotional numbness, sexual dysfunction, nausea and even suicidal ideation (a so-called "paradoxical side effect"). There's a whole different raft of side effects for anti-anxiety medication and so on. If children, teenagers and adults ARE being prescribed these medications needlessly, then we're imposing horrific costs on people's lives for no discernible benefit while Big Pharma laughs all the way to the bank.
>Do you also have a problem with Big Food, Big Electricity, Big Book?
A silly and facile comparison. If you've read a book that caused you to gain weight, made you unable to have sex and made you want to kill yourself, I'd love to hear it.
>The same with therapy: don’t wait until you’re so depressed you can’t get out of bed in the morning.
>7. The people who don’t want to date someone because they don’t go to therapy are people who see therapy as a tool that can be used for self-knowledge and growth.
Both of these things can't be true at once. Either therapy is like going to the doctor (in which case you should only go if there's something the matter with you), or therapy is a tool for self-knowledge and growth (in which case everyone should do it). "I don't want to date him, he doesn't want to visit his GP even though he has a clean bill of health - MAJOR red flag!!"
You've nailed some things I've been thinking about a lot. I did therapy for years and it was indeed helpful in many ways, but making other changes to my life ultimately paid far greater dividends than therapy alone. When people talk about not going to therapy being a red flag, or respond to anything negative someone does/says with "go to therapy," sometimes I want to shout that therapy doesn't fix everything, and having a bad therapist is worse than having no therapist at all. Someone might have a therapist who just affirms that everything they do is OK, so there's no growth. A therapist might not offer much beyond a space to vent, which is fine, but doesn't necessarily encourage behavior change. If someone goes to therapy but does little work outside that space to build resilience, change habits, self-reflect, etc., the benefits are minimal. But I agree with what someone else commented: People probably just don't know what else to do. It's easier to go to therapy and feel like you're doing something positive than it is to reconfigure your whole life on your own (or find community, etc.)
Wow! I’ve always appreciated the term emotional labor from a feminist standpoint, but you’re right; calling friendship labor makes us feel like we shouldn’t burden each other with our problems
I'm just going to zoom out a bit and suggest that in a healthy, humane society, some social services should not have a profit motive. We can list many things that obviously fall into this category: firefighting, law enforcement, the prison system... But only one certain wealthy country seems to think having a profit motive for health care is just a wonderful idea for some reason.
It may be true that we wouldn't have modern medicine without a profit motive, I don't know. But if that's true, I have to say, it's an indictment of humanity itself, and we won't ever make real progress as a species without moving past it.
The Midwestern Doctor writes very thoughtfully on Substack about this inherent problem in our medical system. It’s a doozy, but it definitely needs to be tackled. Millions upon millions have been harmed by “Big Pharma” esp in the Covid era
We cannot expect to "find" true friends, but we can get out and meet people and overtime some of those people will become "true friends". But girls are not doing this. They are spending time on social media rather than out in the real world engaging in activities of interest to them that would enable them to meet people with common interests, some of which would become friends.
Most people nowadays got the wrong idea of the purpose of therapy. The purpose of therapy is not to remove suffering but to move through it to an enlarged consciousness that can sustain the polarity of painful opposites. And yes, most people need therapy.
Couldn’t agree more Pách...it’s such a common thing to think that therapy will get rid of suffering. I wrote a piece about bypassing in the wellness space that addresses this in depth (“a bad experience with breathwork”). I fear with the commodification of healing we’ll miss the point completely and really just be practicing dissociation and spiritual bypassing.
You are absolutely spot on, mindfulness and therapy has helped tremendously become more present and realise suffering is part of life; healing takes time and to detach myself from thoughts. Have you got a link to that piece? Would love to have a read Eliza. Thank you for sharing.
I like this analysis very much because it is on the money and I hope it is widely read. It's as if everything is to be outsourced to a supervisor; friendships, difficult feelings, or having conversations. The need to be resilient is only made redundant by persuading people they no longer have to navigate their own lives. Worryingly, many young people seem to be opting for some notion of a frictionless life, piloted by someone or something remotely.
I recently did a whole mental health series and I really love this perspective! We are living in a time of extremes, cancel culture, polarizing politics, and it all feels like too much. Be perfect on social media yet be authentic or they’ll hate you! I think this is a unique way to discuss mental health services.
I know I’ve personally benefitted from therapy but I’m battling severe depression. Not everyone is dealing with trauma. I also value the importance of in person support around me and my identity in Christ is a big piece of that anchoring.
Which brings me to another point of conversation I’ve been having with a friend. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a teenager but I seldom identify as someone under that label. Why? Do you think millennials and younger generations are obsessed with having all the right labels because of this kind of culture you’ve discussed? Curious what your thoughts are!
i also wonder about the staffing model of these places.... is it healthy for your therapist to receive text messages 24/7? how do they keep all these texts straight? seems overwhelming.
I’ve not read this one yet, just got in from yardwork, but I bet it’ll be fantastic and filled with the facts of the matter! I went through therapy myself, intensive cognitive behavioral therapy too, and the fact is that so many misunderstand therapy and way overhype it. The point is have yourself pushed to becoming better for your health and well-being, and that ultimately a time will come when you graduate from needing a therapist at all. Instead too many pay money to talk to people who don’t really help them and are, at best, friends to lend an ear during life drama.
It’s especially bad that so many blame others for not getting g therapy as if that’s the issue now when it often isn’t. Sure, many could do better to meet in the middle and be more understanding but that’s a matter of empathy and not therapy. Those who hold therapy on a pedestal have caused plenty of problems in culture and society, including stifling themselves and others from properly genuinely improving!
Almost as if all the things we used to do naturally-- taking care of each other, taking care of our children, educating our children-- are being 'professionalized'; freeing up the people that otherwise have been doing those things (friends, parents) to engage in even more 'professions'. More tax revenue, more top-level control; more misery overall.
Thank you for the article
Very true Ben...and in this article, we can trace the dysfunctional tentacles back to the intentional undermining and destruction of the nuclear family - and the infiltration of the opportunists, to fill the space.
When we lost the reservoirs of knowledge, wisdom and common sense held by elder extended family members - we lost the natural and legacy methods of problem solving, coping, growth and care. The difference between that model and the "for profit" ones of today, is that those family elders- on the whole - had your and the family's future wellbeing at heart. Today, with VERY few exceptions, the 1 hour blocks of "care" from providers, cannot match that...no matter how they may try.
Add to that, the clear fact, that social, political and moral agendas are being injected into this "care" and you have intentional and unintentional purveyors of something, that is most assuredly not care.
There is no magic in the sheep skin on the wall...our great great grand parents did the same things and did them better, than they do today, in an hour long office visit.
Now since I just micro/macro aggressed many out there (another wonderful psycho-bable concept) let me say, I've had some very good counselors, in my past. Luckily, it was pre-woke-industrial-complex and they approach things from a very neutral starting point. Their strongest tool was not their degree, but something we all have the ability to do - see and assess a situation with clarity, because we are outside of it.
The roots of this Therapy Culture go back aways in our post -60s West. 1) the definition of 'depression' got expanded to include any kind of unhappiness. 2) 'Self esteem' became the ultimate life goal because your wonderful narcissistic little self could - by definition - do no wrong. The rest, as they say, is history..... and Therapeutic misery.
I don't think has anything to do with tax revenue or authoritarianism and everything to do with the Division of Labour and Specialization.
Yes! "That's what friends are for" has been replaced with "get help" and not just young people! I think there's an additional huge reason for the over-reliance on therapy in this age of instant global public shaming via social media: confidentiality. People don't trust each other not to share their woes and secrets, and rightfully so it could well be argued. Priests, pastors etc. used to fill a useful role that way. My mother, an atheist, relied on the help of a minister to escape an abusive marriage. He was the only one in a gossipy small town she could trust with her secret plan. Not that there weren't/aren't abuses to that role of course, but at least it's not profit driven.
I appreciate your candor on this topic.
My therapist told me that her job was to put herself out of a job. Good therapy should lead you out of therapy.
I’ve read this post and I think many of the points you make or allude to are not very good arguments. You also seem to have your own assumptions and you often respond to those rather than engage with the actual topics. I’ve written a response that’s longer than it should be, but if anyone bothers to read it, I hope you’ll see a better way to think about this topic. Here is my criticism.
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1. You say that these companies pathologize normal distress and present therapy as the solution to all problems. But that is just your interpretation of it, and it’s based on the traditional perspective that’s similar to “therapy is for crazy people” (this is what people used to believe). Or perhaps closer to what you seem to believe: “Go to therapy when you’re suffering enough to warrant getting help”. Do you think that people should seek therapy only when they are suffering from depression, generalized anxiety, or PTSD? I think the smart thing to do is to go to therapy before this happens so that people can learn useful strategies they can use to deal with their problems before they get too serious and hopefully avoid them.
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Let’s compare going to a therapist with going to the doctor. Some people only go to the doctor when they are very sick, which is sometimes too late for them to get less invasive treatment or, in extreme cases, to save their lives. Instead of doing that, I would argue it’s smart to do get your bloodwork done and see a doctor early on if you have a problem – even if it’s not a big problem yet. Do you have a mole that looks suspicious? Don’t wait until it grows a lot to have a doctor look at it. The same with therapy: don’t wait until you’re so depressed you can’t get out of bed in the morning.
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2. In this article you’re basically using a straw man argument – claiming that therapy will solve all problems and heal you from being human, etc. I don’t know where you got this idea, but I doubt any therapist would say that’s what they are trying to do with their patients. The goal of therapy is to help people identify their problems (get a proper diagnosis if they have one), to help them understand themselves and learn useful strategies to help them deal with problems so they leave better lives. What exactly is the problem with this??? If they don’t suffer too much, people should just suck it up instead of learning how to express what they feel, think about it, regulate their emotions, or find useful coping strategies? Plus a therapist can observe a person and determine if what they experience is a normal reaction or a serious mental illness that needs to be treated differently.
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3. You seem to have a problem with Big Pharma, but let’s be real: the pharmaceutical industry has saved many lives, it has cured many diseases, and helped prolong people’s lives while also making them better. Few industries do so much to help humanity. Is the problem that these companies don’t do it out of the goodness of their hearts but mainly for profit? Wow, a company that wants to make money! That’s crazy! This doesn’t mean that everything they do is great and there’s nothing to complain about, but then complain about the problems. If you have a valid complaint, express that rather than throwing around “Big Pharma” and “Big Therapy” like it’s supposed to be a good argument. Do you also have a problem with Big Food, Big Electricity, Big Book? The companies that sell these things also want to increase their profits.
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4. You claim you’re worried that young people misdiagnose themselves based on the misinformation they see on TikTok (which is a big problem!). But what is the best way for young people to learn if they really have a mental illness or just a normal (or exaggerated) reaction to something that is happening in their lives? The best thing to do is…see a therapist who is a professional that can use the right instruments to assess what the person is experiencing, whether they need treatment or whether they just need to understand themselves and change the way they think about their lives.
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5. As you mentioned, many young people are alone, or they don’t have many friends to talk to or they prefer to spend their time on their phones. And perhaps these therapy companies are trying to fill that gap. Why is that a problem? Maybe young people prefer having a therapist to talk to than trying to find new friends. Is this ideal? Maybe. Maybe not. But then, tell us: what do you think should happen? Should parents or governments force young people to go outside and talk to other strangers (for free) that may become their friends – if they don’t seem to do this on their own? Or do you think that if all these therapy companies close up shop, young people will magically throw away their phones and start to spend time outdoors talking to other young people in person?
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6. You’ve created this antithesis between friends and strangers (specifically strangers you pay for therapy), while also talking as if they are pretty much the same thing. But they are very different, and they fulfill different roles – even if you seem to insinuate that most people don’t need therapy and they should just talk to their friends about it. Therapists can offer several things that friends cannot: 1. they have the expertise to observe and diagnose people if they have a condition, 2. they can provide support and teach you strategies based on scientific evidence, 3. they are less biased. Despite talking about friends and therapists (strangers you pay, as you keep saying), you seem to think that one can replace the other. That’s like saying that instead of paying a stranger to figure out what’s wrong with your body, you should just ask your friends and family about it. I’m drawing the parallel because a therapist should help you with the problems of your mind as a doctor helps you with the problems of your body. Technically you need a professional to help you figure out if your problems are normal or pathological. And the best way to find out if you need professional help is to book a consultation with one.
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7. The people who don’t want to date someone because they don’t go to therapy are people who see therapy as a tool that can be used for self-knowledge and growth. If someone values that, it makes sense that they would prefer someone who values that as well. It’s similar to someone saying they want to date people who read non-fiction books or have an active lifestyle. It’s a matter of personal preference.
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8. Another thing you seem to fail to understand is what people can do in their circumstances. Think about it. If someone really is struggling with depression, anxiety, distress or something else and they spend a lot of time indoors, using their devices, well then what do you think is easier for them to do: go outside and talk to strangers (for free, because paying for help is problematic as you’ve made it clear) or schedule a talk to a professional that can help them from the comfort of their home?? It’s obvious that the second one is a smaller step, therefore a step they are more likely to take – since, you know, these people may have their own challenges and cannot magically sum up the courage or motivation they need to do something that feels scary to them at first. Perhaps you do not have this problem so you may not be able to understand what it’s like for someone who does.
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9. Your title insinuates that some people or these companies claim that “everyone needs therapy”. Yet from what you mentioned here, it sounds more like they are trying to normalize therapy (reduce the stigma associated with it) and to claim that everyone can benefit from therapy – even if not everyone needs it. However, honestly, I would go as far as to say that probably everyone needs a little bit of therapy. Many people have maladaptive coping mechanisms, dysfunctional dynamics in their relationships, and do things that either do not increase or actually decrease their wellbeing, so a therapist could help them identify these issues and help them find ways to manage them.
1. Freya acknowledges that therapy has a place and there are times when people genuinely benefit from it and need it to heal and live better, healthier lives. People should not have to go to a therapist to learn how to cope with their own lives, althuogh many of us did lose out on acquiring such in our childhood developmental periods which is tragic, but should not be the norm. For those who come from particular rhigher-risk backgrounds, I can get behind having therapy offered to them early on to help in a preventative manner, but otherwise it should not be the case.
2. Perhaps a slight exaggeration but the fact of the matter is that many in the masses are understanding therapy to be a sort of cure-all for even the regular struggles in life. There are plenty of therapists who are unable to genuinely help and actually worsen the issues of their patients (think those who see their therapist for years and it's more of a gossip hour with no progress actually made) and while I understand that different therapists suit different types of people differently, the fact is that there are instances in which certification is nonexistent or not actually valuable despite technically being legitimate.
3. Many people have been saved by medications and doings inherently tied to Big Pharma, but this does not change that Big Pharma is an issue as it currently stands. People are being over-medicated en masse and it is causing a great many issues! Especially with how costs work as well, the issue is not what is (unfortunately) being held hostage by Big Pharma, but that Big Pharma is holding it hostage and not allowing for more good to be done for those in need while also encouraging more patients be acquired for as long as possible each.
4. I agree that learning about potential problems one may have is not a bad thing, but TikTok (like Tumblr, and I say this from experience) tends to glorify these things which young girls happen to be of a nature to take to an extreme. I'm not against having content to teach, as I don't think Freya would be either, but it is about how they are doing it more than that they are doing it at all. I would also add that one should not go immediately to a therapist if they suspect there to be such an issue. One ought start with their general practitioner/ primary care doctors (adults) / pediatrician (children) and see what they think first, get a second and even third opinion if they truly feel it necessary and go from there. Maybe the doctor who has worked with that person as an established patient (and so should know them to some degree) will refer to a therapist or offer a list to reach out to, or maybe not. But to immediately seek a therapist is not (usually) going to be the right move.
5. No one is advocating to use the law to force kids outside (at least I hope not!), but there is something to be said about the inability of kids to go out as they used to being a negative influence on their well-being. As someone who has talked to her former psychologist in-person as well over call/video-call, there are times when digital appointments are nifty and even superior, however constant access especially for young people is dangerous as it can easily become a crutch (think, parasocial relationships), not to mention that it blurs the line between practitioner and patient. With my doctor, the rule was always to wait for appointments UNLESS there were something more urgent. If I were actively going to hurt myself or others, I was to go to the ER and have myself admitted. If it weren't that extreme but I was having an abnormally intense fight with my mental disorder symptoms, then I could call the after hours line (can't think of the proper name for it) where a hospital attendant would connect me to my doctor and we could talk as soon as the doctor got the message and was available. It is unhealthy to let people get accustomed to thinking they always have someone who can help them in bad times, as such is not realistic and cripples when it inevitably does happen, but also it asks more of the therapists than they should have to be offering for services.
6. A lot of what people now go to therapy for used to be aided by proper social engagements and keeping close friends. There is a difference between friends and strangers/professionals! But this has been blurred by therapy culture, sort of touched on in my replies already. People who have more extreme issues do need to be seen and treated by proper professionals, but most people do not need this and (in all but the recent past) were usually able to get through these distresses with those they kept close socially.
7. I semi-agree with you on this but more because I think that if someone believes everyone should be seeing a therapist then they should probably only date people who also believe it for the sake of sanity of those involved. Those who understand that is not healthy will not want to put up with such and/or made worse by it in the longterm, and those who already agree should have no issues and if they do can talk about it to their therapists to their hearts' desire. Will say, I believe couples' therapy should be a thing, but only as needed for the uncommon circumstances of couples desperate to save what beauty they have had.
8. Touched on this a bit earlier too, but this is not what is being said. There should be options for those unable to go conventional routes, however what is currently out is too much and premise for major problems for a lot of people. Of course, we will never be able to perfect accessibility, and so no matter what, an amount of people will always fall through the cracks. It's upsetting and we should do our best to minimize it, but we have to acknowledge and accept that it is a fact.
9. Normalizing therapy would not be pushing it at everyone and implying that any problem in life is cause for needing a therapist (which is the gist, even if not directly stated, that is often given by these). We should accept that some people need therapy and be proud of them when they seek it and work at it to better themselves! We shouldn't shame people for going to therapy when they genuinely need it. The difference is that there has been a cultural shift in mentality that everyone should have their own therapist and that therapy should be a regular thing everyone does (which is not healthy, and should not be the case). Normalizing and pushing boundaries are two different things though they can look similar in ways. Again, Freya actively states that she believes people who truly need help by means of therapy should be able to access therapy (and most likely, not be shamed for it by others).
I think that we all agree on the basics here; everyone should be able to get access to help that they need via therapy. The difference is that this is a more nuanced issue in which the general conception of therapy has become extreme and many now think of it, not as a means of getting help for their health, but as something that should be part of any normal person's life.
There are still good therapists out there despite that there are many that aren't. Maybe most of these groups Freya is calling out do mean well despite that what they're offering isn't actually a good solution to the problem at hand. Reality remains what it is, though, and that is that most should not need therapy nor have it normalized to the point they believe it almost essential and constantly available, as has become the case.
I’ll keep this as short as I can because I’m not interested in back-and-forth essays. But:
1. “People should not have to go to a therapist to learn how to cope with their own lives.” Says who? You get to decide what people should or shouldn’t do? You decided that people should not need to or want to go to therapy, and this magically makes everyone ok? Or you just don’t care?
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2. Talking about how some therapists are not very good does not deny my argument at all. You’re just adding a new – albeit related – topic.
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3. Big Pharma, the industry that makes life-saving and useful treatments is an issue? You’d rather live in a world where it doesn’t exist? You say that people are over-medicated. Do you have any scientific evidence of that? I’m not interested in conspiracy theories or unfounded claims. Again, you should not be surprised that businesses care about profits. Any company does that.
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4. If someone suspects they have a mental illness, the first person they should see is a therapist/psychologist since these are the people professionally trained to deal with this type of problem. If you have a skin issue, you see a dermatologist – it’s logical. It makes no sense to send someone to a professional specialized in something else…You have a problem with Big Pharma but you think it’s a good idea for a person to see multiple doctors, have several appointments instead of having one with the type of professional trained for this?
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5. So your solution is restricted access to therapists because you assume this is better for them. I could argue it’s better for them to have access whenever they need it. Unless we can find evidence for which one is better, we don’t actually know. Your experience is not enough to settle this.
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6. You don’t get to decide for everyone what they do or do not need. And just because friends can offer support or advice it does not mean it’s always the best support or advice a person can get.
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7. Again, you seem to think you know what’s normal and best for everyone. Where is this coming from and why the certainty??
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8. See nr. 1 and 7.
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9. Again, see nr. 1 and 7.
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You’ve claimed several times that most people don’t need therapy or shouldn’t need therapy with such certainty that I wonder what this is based on. Omniscience? Do you know that most people do not have issues they want to solve (and should solve) or things they want to improve and can only do in therapy? Are you the one that sets the threshold of what is a big enough problem to warrant getting professional help for everyone else? Because that’s the way you talk…if you don’t see a problem with this, perhaps you *should* consult a therapist about it.
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Anyway, you and everyone else are free to think whatever you want. I’ve shared my arguments already.
I was hoping to find common ground and work from there, but I see you don’t have the interest as you couldn’t have accurately understood my points by what you said. I have no interest in conversing if the other party is entirely unwilling to actually discuss as well, but it seems you’ve no interest in discussing, just preaching what you believe and insisting others are saying things that they aren’t.
If you’d like to honestly and in good faith discuss and even debate, I’d be happy to oblige! I’m not operating off anything but reality on top of my own “lived experiences”.
For your primary complaint that I maintain most people shouldn’t need therapy, let me say this:
As a species we would have never made it anywhere near this far if the vast majority of us have always been so easily distraught over so many, and especially minor, things. The world has changed in how we operate (technological advancements have changed a lot against our nature) but we shouldn’t have to send all/‘most of our children to beyond their families and neighborhoods just so they can live a decent or better life. There should be something natural in developing as people that lends us to not needing such aid with the exceptions being awful instances which are most definitely not the norm.
You are right: I am not really interested in a discussion or debate here. As a rule, I prefer to engage with people only when they are rational and use critical thinking. Since you make claims about what is good for everyone with high certainty based only on your personal opinion and experience, it is clear you are not doing that (no offense intended).
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Your last paragraph is another great illustration of this. Your reasoning about “people should not need therapy” is basically an appeal to nature – this is a fallacy or a mistake in reasoning that is often used. Claiming that something is good because it is natural (or how things used to be in the past) or claiming that something else is bad because it is unnatural (new and only exists in our current society) is not a good argument at all.
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By this reasoning, people who get illnesses should be left to suffer or die because that’s what happened in the past. After all, most people who are saved by big pharma and medical interventions would have died in the past. One could say: there should be something natural in developing as people that leads us to not needing so much help (from doctors) with the exceptions being awful instances which are most definitely not the norm. I just applied your own argument about mental health to physical health – but you probably don’t agree with it in this context.
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Just to say this: I do not have a problem with you. I simply think that the way you engaged here shows that the way you reason – at least in this interaction - can be improved. And this can be said about most people.
>As a rule, I prefer to engage with people only when they are rational and use critical thinking.
Now you're just being obnoxious. Lindsey was being perfectly polite and reasonable.
Your last paragraph sums my perspective up precisely as well. We are clearly operating off of different and incompatible paradigms. I wish you all the best and harbor no hard feelings.
Uh, just get your own Substack and stop hogging someone else’s. 🙄
Tell me you’re a therapist without saying you’re a therapist, lol
Actually, I'm not a therapist. So the only thing your comment proves is that you're reacting based on assumptions rather than engaging with the content of my comment - something I've criticized in my comment as well...
Replace therapist for heavy user with zero self-awareness of her own bias and flaws despite being quick to point these out in others. Maybe a talking point for your next session Paula?
You must be God almighty if you can read my mind and see that I have zero self-awareness of my own bias and flaws. Nice to meet you! Have a good life! Perhaps see a therapist if this is how you feel the need to talk to strangers online just because you don't like what they said. Oh, and I love all the excellent rational arguments you made here.
Lol, because that's a totally normal and rational response! It's not that I don't like what you say (it's of no importance to me) I just thought I'd try and hold a mirror up to your own behaviour in the interest of fairness. You sound absolutely unhinged by the way
You're one to talk about normal and rational responses. Perhaps take the mirror and look in it yourself...
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>If they don’t suffer too much, people should just suck it up instead of learning how to express what they feel, think about it, regulate their emotions, or find useful coping strategies?
I'm baffled by your apparent belief that one can only "learn how to express what they feel, think about it, regulate their emotions or find useful coping strategies" in a clinical setting with a therapist. What exactly do you think people did before 1886? Moreover, do you think anyone who hasn't attended therapy is completely incapable of expressing how they feel, regulating their emotions or using healthy coping strategies?
>5. As you mentioned, many young people are alone, or they don’t have many friends to talk to or they prefer to spend their time on their phones. And perhaps these therapy companies are trying to fill that gap. Why is that a problem? Maybe young people prefer having a therapist to talk to than trying to find new friends. Is this ideal? Maybe. Maybe not. But then, tell us: what do you think should happen?
>Many people have maladaptive coping mechanisms... and do things that either do not increase or actually decrease their wellbeing
Does it not strike you as obvious that spending all of your time on your phone and depending on a therapist for a social outlet is the precisely the kind of maladaptive coping mechanism one might rely on INSTEAD of going outside and trying to meet people and make actual friends?
>However, honestly, I would go as far as to say that probably everyone needs a little bit of therapy.
I would disagree, and in fact I would go so far to say as therapy can often have a net-negative impact on people's lives or the lives of the people around them (see https://quillette.com/2023/08/08/beware-psychotherapy-that-works/). You seem to be essentially denying the possibility of iatrogenic harm in a psychotherapeutic setting, even though this is an obvious risk in literally every other kind of medical treatment.
>If you have a valid complaint, express that rather than throwing around “Big Pharma” and “Big Therapy” like it’s supposed to be a good argument.
Freya's argument, as I understand it, is that Big Pharma (and Big Therapy, by extension) has a financial incentive to pathologise ordinary negative emotions and mental distress as symptomatic of clinical mental illness, and that this pathologisation may have unintended consequences. Consider the fact that antidepressant prescription for children aged 15 and under has increased more than 130 per cent in the last ten years (https://www.irishtimes.com/health/2023/06/02/antidepressant-prescriptions-for-under-15s-up-130-since-2012-hse-figures-show/). Do you think young children are twice as likely to be depressed in 2022 as in 2012? Do you think that the rate of depression in this cohort has stayed the same and half of the children who ought to have been prescribed antidepressants in 2012 were suffering in silence, but now we've "broken the stigma" and more children who need antidepressants are getting them? Or is it possible that many children are being prescribed antidepressants that they don't really need? (These hypotheses are not mutually exclusive.)
Prescribing someone antidepressants is not a costless action: they come with side effects including weight gain/loss, tiredness, emotional numbness, sexual dysfunction, nausea and even suicidal ideation (a so-called "paradoxical side effect"). There's a whole different raft of side effects for anti-anxiety medication and so on. If children, teenagers and adults ARE being prescribed these medications needlessly, then we're imposing horrific costs on people's lives for no discernible benefit while Big Pharma laughs all the way to the bank.
>Do you also have a problem with Big Food, Big Electricity, Big Book?
A silly and facile comparison. If you've read a book that caused you to gain weight, made you unable to have sex and made you want to kill yourself, I'd love to hear it.
>The same with therapy: don’t wait until you’re so depressed you can’t get out of bed in the morning.
>7. The people who don’t want to date someone because they don’t go to therapy are people who see therapy as a tool that can be used for self-knowledge and growth.
Both of these things can't be true at once. Either therapy is like going to the doctor (in which case you should only go if there's something the matter with you), or therapy is a tool for self-knowledge and growth (in which case everyone should do it). "I don't want to date him, he doesn't want to visit his GP even though he has a clean bill of health - MAJOR red flag!!"
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You've nailed some things I've been thinking about a lot. I did therapy for years and it was indeed helpful in many ways, but making other changes to my life ultimately paid far greater dividends than therapy alone. When people talk about not going to therapy being a red flag, or respond to anything negative someone does/says with "go to therapy," sometimes I want to shout that therapy doesn't fix everything, and having a bad therapist is worse than having no therapist at all. Someone might have a therapist who just affirms that everything they do is OK, so there's no growth. A therapist might not offer much beyond a space to vent, which is fine, but doesn't necessarily encourage behavior change. If someone goes to therapy but does little work outside that space to build resilience, change habits, self-reflect, etc., the benefits are minimal. But I agree with what someone else commented: People probably just don't know what else to do. It's easier to go to therapy and feel like you're doing something positive than it is to reconfigure your whole life on your own (or find community, etc.)
Wow! I’ve always appreciated the term emotional labor from a feminist standpoint, but you’re right; calling friendship labor makes us feel like we shouldn’t burden each other with our problems
I'm just going to zoom out a bit and suggest that in a healthy, humane society, some social services should not have a profit motive. We can list many things that obviously fall into this category: firefighting, law enforcement, the prison system... But only one certain wealthy country seems to think having a profit motive for health care is just a wonderful idea for some reason.
It may be true that we wouldn't have modern medicine without a profit motive, I don't know. But if that's true, I have to say, it's an indictment of humanity itself, and we won't ever make real progress as a species without moving past it.
The Midwestern Doctor writes very thoughtfully on Substack about this inherent problem in our medical system. It’s a doozy, but it definitely needs to be tackled. Millions upon millions have been harmed by “Big Pharma” esp in the Covid era
I guess my big question would be: "what are lonely people supposed to do?" True friends can be hard to find in today's fast-paced, superficial world.
We cannot expect to "find" true friends, but we can get out and meet people and overtime some of those people will become "true friends". But girls are not doing this. They are spending time on social media rather than out in the real world engaging in activities of interest to them that would enable them to meet people with common interests, some of which would become friends.
Most people nowadays got the wrong idea of the purpose of therapy. The purpose of therapy is not to remove suffering but to move through it to an enlarged consciousness that can sustain the polarity of painful opposites. And yes, most people need therapy.
Couldn’t agree more Pách...it’s such a common thing to think that therapy will get rid of suffering. I wrote a piece about bypassing in the wellness space that addresses this in depth (“a bad experience with breathwork”). I fear with the commodification of healing we’ll miss the point completely and really just be practicing dissociation and spiritual bypassing.
You are absolutely spot on, mindfulness and therapy has helped tremendously become more present and realise suffering is part of life; healing takes time and to detach myself from thoughts. Have you got a link to that piece? Would love to have a read Eliza. Thank you for sharing.
It’s on her Substack.
Will check it out, thank you Sasha.
Excellent post, capitalism can't let us have anything nice or important, it's got to be an accessory...
I like this analysis very much because it is on the money and I hope it is widely read. It's as if everything is to be outsourced to a supervisor; friendships, difficult feelings, or having conversations. The need to be resilient is only made redundant by persuading people they no longer have to navigate their own lives. Worryingly, many young people seem to be opting for some notion of a frictionless life, piloted by someone or something remotely.
Nailed it again Freya, men and women need a friend like you.
I recently did a whole mental health series and I really love this perspective! We are living in a time of extremes, cancel culture, polarizing politics, and it all feels like too much. Be perfect on social media yet be authentic or they’ll hate you! I think this is a unique way to discuss mental health services.
I know I’ve personally benefitted from therapy but I’m battling severe depression. Not everyone is dealing with trauma. I also value the importance of in person support around me and my identity in Christ is a big piece of that anchoring.
Which brings me to another point of conversation I’ve been having with a friend. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a teenager but I seldom identify as someone under that label. Why? Do you think millennials and younger generations are obsessed with having all the right labels because of this kind of culture you’ve discussed? Curious what your thoughts are!
We’ve replaced religion with smartphones.
Thank you so much for this. Love your work, from France
Thank you that means a lot!
i also wonder about the staffing model of these places.... is it healthy for your therapist to receive text messages 24/7? how do they keep all these texts straight? seems overwhelming.
I’ve not read this one yet, just got in from yardwork, but I bet it’ll be fantastic and filled with the facts of the matter! I went through therapy myself, intensive cognitive behavioral therapy too, and the fact is that so many misunderstand therapy and way overhype it. The point is have yourself pushed to becoming better for your health and well-being, and that ultimately a time will come when you graduate from needing a therapist at all. Instead too many pay money to talk to people who don’t really help them and are, at best, friends to lend an ear during life drama.
It’s especially bad that so many blame others for not getting g therapy as if that’s the issue now when it often isn’t. Sure, many could do better to meet in the middle and be more understanding but that’s a matter of empathy and not therapy. Those who hold therapy on a pedestal have caused plenty of problems in culture and society, including stifling themselves and others from properly genuinely improving!