Freya, this is brilliant! Thank you so much for expressing what I could not articulate to my wonderful daughter when she tried to brace me about a deviation in the movie from the book - Daisy Jones and The Six. Camilla, who is compassionate and family oriented throughout the book, has an affair in the movie just to get back her sense of self. I understood this was director Reece Witherspoon’s misguided attempt to “empower” Camilla, but in doing so, the book version of Camilla’s integrity-to-the-bone is lost.
And the idea that monogamy is feminist is absurd. I grew up in Middle East and N. Africa where men could have multiple wives AT ANY TIME. Women lived under constant fear of the husband being able to divorce her by just saying “I divorce you” three times, or marrying another woman or several women.
I could not understand and still don’t, why what we bring to the table is not valued by women themselves or society: sewing, quilting, cooking, gardening, love of children, caring for family. I didn’t understand why I had to adopt the traits of men instead of having the men adopt some of our traits.
And I’m a radical feminist. Probably more of the International feminist brand though.
Thank you again for expressing what I could not articulate. I loathe this false brand of feminism which seems to be steeped in self-loathing. Very sad.
Huge difference. In the West, wife would have to hire a lawyer, go through lengthy, costly process that would require her to take time off from work and interfere with her life. In Islam, the husband merely says “I divorce you” three times, in his home, and it’s over. He gets to stay in the home. She has to leave. If their children are 7 yo or older, she cannot take them with her.
Everyone would be in an uproar if Andrew Rape sold mean merch telling men to cheat on women, when all he does now is rape and traffic them! I mean, feminisms does bad stuff too!
It's quite ironic actually. The feminist types and the andrew tate types have the same perception of relationships and dating, which is that it is a 'transaction'. This is, as you have said in the article, consumerism.
Inherent in this 'sexual consumerism' is the commodification of sex and relationships which turns people into products to be consumed at leisure - hence the flagrant cheating epidemic.
Products are disposable, and if people are products, then they too, are disposable.
To me, cheating denotes a lack of courage, it is an action that speaks to an inability to clearly communicate our own needs (since instead of addressing what we are not receiving in the relationship we are going out to seek it elsewhere) and also demonstrates a clear lack of reverence for the relationship on our own part.
I’ve come across you here this morning and I’m really loving your writing, in fact I just read your piece on social media to my eldest (now 12) to give her another perspective on it all beyond my own and it really opened her eyes to why I’ve been so determined to keep her away from it as long as possible.
Great piece. I met you in "Triggernometry". I was puzzled by the guys having such a young guest. What is this little girl doing in such a program. Later I have to recognize that you are a brilliant example of common sense and hope for future generation. I am a 52 guy already, but I have a son. I would love to be a grandpa, but I cannot tell my son to form a family these days. Celebs and other influencer are to blame. I invite you to read my pieces. Sorry in advance: English is not my first language.
"Of course, I understand that we are fearful of regressing back to an age when women were stripped of freedom and autonomy, and hesitate to tell women how to live their lives." i really liked this article except for this sentence. i mean contemporary autonomy is an illusion, people have different options now, speaking of the past as if it were a place where women were stripped of freedom and autonomy is becomeing increasingly rediculous, in the west at least. if a woman wants a family and to marry a non.porn addicted virgin like my grand mother did, she is not free to do so in todays society, because there are so few. back then it was easy, but this was the work of severely constraining norms, shame, etc. but people with one lifetime partner are happier in aggregate, its surely more beautiful than having 20-50 partners. to jesture to this boogeyman past is to perpetuate this false myth. i think its better to say there are always trade offs, but if we look to the age where women were told what to do and how to live, they lived objectively better and happier lives, the mass medicalization of women in the west is a testament to this. your whole article is now the current era is not neutral, it tells women how to live, it has propped up toxic masculinity as highest evil for men, summum bonum for women.
It should come as no surprise that, as women have gained much in the power that used to be almost entirely male, that they would adopt many of the same sorts of abuses of it that men inflicted historically, the same protections from accountability, the same narcissism. Women are not somehow morally superior to men.
Yes, we are. We don't run international rape and trafficking rings and sell men on the internet for profit, while going viral on TikTok telling young girls how to do it too.
You people are such fucking morons it's exhausting. Nobody cares that you can't get laid. Get a job.
So because your mom was cheated on and moved on from by your dad. That gives you the right to cheat on other people? I think that logic might be why Trump won.
Great article! I've been writing on this topic for a while, but I think you absolutely hit the nail on the head. I haven't heard your interview with Triggernometry yet, but I will check it out!
All this makes sense in a world where relationships matter less than desire and consumption, the handmaidens of autonomy. My book on the dark side of individualism comes out next May. Anyone reading this will love it... https://a.co/d/arGnlGE
Vibing a lot with Marie Daouda's piece who said that the power is never on the side of the so-called empowered who is a passive adjective based on a sort of falsely virtual love triangle.
"Will freedom make us true? From Madame Bovary to Instagram"
Thank you for writing this. I just got done reading Louise Perry's book, so what you write here is very much on my mind lately. I realize that a lot of men have treated women like disposable, interchangeable objects for centuries, but is the solution really to create a society where women feel free to be as callous toward their partners as men have been? Is that liberation?
(I found your post through Andrew Sullivan, who linked to you today.)
Yes, men deserve karma so now it's your turn. Shut up and stop whining. Go jerk off to Andrew Tate videos and feel like the victim because you can't get a match on Tinder.
So because your mom was cheated on and moved on from by your dad. That gives you the right to cheat on other people? I think that logic might be why Trump won.
I think there is, but at a certain point I think calling the best of feminism “feminism” is both a branding mistake because that name alienates a large chunk of society and a category error.
I think maybe women are just bored. Real life is hard and can get boring. Nothing so sexy as the forbidden. No kiss like that first kiss. It’s like a drug.
Freya, this is brilliant! Thank you so much for expressing what I could not articulate to my wonderful daughter when she tried to brace me about a deviation in the movie from the book - Daisy Jones and The Six. Camilla, who is compassionate and family oriented throughout the book, has an affair in the movie just to get back her sense of self. I understood this was director Reece Witherspoon’s misguided attempt to “empower” Camilla, but in doing so, the book version of Camilla’s integrity-to-the-bone is lost.
And the idea that monogamy is feminist is absurd. I grew up in Middle East and N. Africa where men could have multiple wives AT ANY TIME. Women lived under constant fear of the husband being able to divorce her by just saying “I divorce you” three times, or marrying another woman or several women.
I could not understand and still don’t, why what we bring to the table is not valued by women themselves or society: sewing, quilting, cooking, gardening, love of children, caring for family. I didn’t understand why I had to adopt the traits of men instead of having the men adopt some of our traits.
And I’m a radical feminist. Probably more of the International feminist brand though.
Thank you again for expressing what I could not articulate. I loathe this false brand of feminism which seems to be steeped in self-loathing. Very sad.
Women lived under constant fear of the husband being able to divorce her by just saying “I divorce you” three times
Not much different from the situation of men in western society.
Huge difference. In the West, wife would have to hire a lawyer, go through lengthy, costly process that would require her to take time off from work and interfere with her life. In Islam, the husband merely says “I divorce you” three times, in his home, and it’s over. He gets to stay in the home. She has to leave. If their children are 7 yo or older, she cannot take them with her.
Great piece!
Yeah, so genius!
Everyone would be in an uproar if Andrew Rape sold mean merch telling men to cheat on women, when all he does now is rape and traffic them! I mean, feminisms does bad stuff too!
You people are morons.
Good article!
It's quite ironic actually. The feminist types and the andrew tate types have the same perception of relationships and dating, which is that it is a 'transaction'. This is, as you have said in the article, consumerism.
Inherent in this 'sexual consumerism' is the commodification of sex and relationships which turns people into products to be consumed at leisure - hence the flagrant cheating epidemic.
Products are disposable, and if people are products, then they too, are disposable.
Love this Freya!
To me, cheating denotes a lack of courage, it is an action that speaks to an inability to clearly communicate our own needs (since instead of addressing what we are not receiving in the relationship we are going out to seek it elsewhere) and also demonstrates a clear lack of reverence for the relationship on our own part.
I’ve come across you here this morning and I’m really loving your writing, in fact I just read your piece on social media to my eldest (now 12) to give her another perspective on it all beyond my own and it really opened her eyes to why I’ve been so determined to keep her away from it as long as possible.
Great piece. I met you in "Triggernometry". I was puzzled by the guys having such a young guest. What is this little girl doing in such a program. Later I have to recognize that you are a brilliant example of common sense and hope for future generation. I am a 52 guy already, but I have a son. I would love to be a grandpa, but I cannot tell my son to form a family these days. Celebs and other influencer are to blame. I invite you to read my pieces. Sorry in advance: English is not my first language.
What do you think? https://arturoruiz.substack.com/p/why-men-should-be-far-right
"Of course, I understand that we are fearful of regressing back to an age when women were stripped of freedom and autonomy, and hesitate to tell women how to live their lives." i really liked this article except for this sentence. i mean contemporary autonomy is an illusion, people have different options now, speaking of the past as if it were a place where women were stripped of freedom and autonomy is becomeing increasingly rediculous, in the west at least. if a woman wants a family and to marry a non.porn addicted virgin like my grand mother did, she is not free to do so in todays society, because there are so few. back then it was easy, but this was the work of severely constraining norms, shame, etc. but people with one lifetime partner are happier in aggregate, its surely more beautiful than having 20-50 partners. to jesture to this boogeyman past is to perpetuate this false myth. i think its better to say there are always trade offs, but if we look to the age where women were told what to do and how to live, they lived objectively better and happier lives, the mass medicalization of women in the west is a testament to this. your whole article is now the current era is not neutral, it tells women how to live, it has propped up toxic masculinity as highest evil for men, summum bonum for women.
It should come as no surprise that, as women have gained much in the power that used to be almost entirely male, that they would adopt many of the same sorts of abuses of it that men inflicted historically, the same protections from accountability, the same narcissism. Women are not somehow morally superior to men.
Yes, we are. We don't run international rape and trafficking rings and sell men on the internet for profit, while going viral on TikTok telling young girls how to do it too.
You people are such fucking morons it's exhausting. Nobody cares that you can't get laid. Get a job.
So because your mom was cheated on and moved on from by your dad. That gives you the right to cheat on other people? I think that logic might be why Trump won.
Great article! I've been writing on this topic for a while, but I think you absolutely hit the nail on the head. I haven't heard your interview with Triggernometry yet, but I will check it out!
All this makes sense in a world where relationships matter less than desire and consumption, the handmaidens of autonomy. My book on the dark side of individualism comes out next May. Anyone reading this will love it... https://a.co/d/arGnlGE
Wonderful piece
Wow, another good one.
Freya India's righteous analysis.
Vibing a lot with Marie Daouda's piece who said that the power is never on the side of the so-called empowered who is a passive adjective based on a sort of falsely virtual love triangle.
"Will freedom make us true? From Madame Bovary to Instagram"
https://mariekawthardaouda.substack.com/p/truthandfreedom
*which 😅
Thank you for writing this. I just got done reading Louise Perry's book, so what you write here is very much on my mind lately. I realize that a lot of men have treated women like disposable, interchangeable objects for centuries, but is the solution really to create a society where women feel free to be as callous toward their partners as men have been? Is that liberation?
(I found your post through Andrew Sullivan, who linked to you today.)
Yes, men deserve karma so now it's your turn. Shut up and stop whining. Go jerk off to Andrew Tate videos and feel like the victim because you can't get a match on Tinder.
So because your mom was cheated on and moved on from by your dad. That gives you the right to cheat on other people? I think that logic might be why Trump won.
I agree with you. Women treating sex the way men have for centuries is not the way to go.
In all things, moderation.
Is there any distinction left between feminism and female chauvinism? Not for many supposed feminists, unfortunately.
I think there is, but at a certain point I think calling the best of feminism “feminism” is both a branding mistake because that name alienates a large chunk of society and a category error.
Nobody gives af what you think about feminism. Get a job.
Hahah might be why Trump won
I wonder what the pro-cheating feminists would say to a counter-proposal of encouraging honor instead
I think maybe women are just bored. Real life is hard and can get boring. Nothing so sexy as the forbidden. No kiss like that first kiss. It’s like a drug.