"Empowerment" Feminism Failed Us

It slots all too neatly into our materialistic and self-absorbed culture

Last week my Twitter feed was flooded with critiques of the feminist author Caitlin Moran and her latest book, What About Men? In the book, Moran argues that men are in crisis. They aren’t talking about their problems. They are falling behind at school and university. They are committing suicide at record rates. Women, on the other hand, are winning! We talk about sex. We are proud of our bodies. We open up about our emotions. After years of empowering women and girls, Moran thinks it’s time men catch up.

“Feminism,” is Moran’s answer, “What men and boys need is feminism.” By which she means: men must learn to embrace their bodies, express their emotions and love themselves unapologetically, like women do. They must, like women, stop giving a fuck! And be proud of their penises! And gossip with each other in the boys’ bathrooms!

@itvlorraineHow easily does your husband or son open up? 🫶 After years of empowering women and girls, Caitlin Moran is now asking us to think about the men and boys, suggesting they actually might have it harder these days... #lorraine #caitlinmoran #feminism #masculinity #livetv #empowerment #empoweringpeople

Tiktok failed to load.

Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser

Like many others, I’m sceptical of Moran’s approach. Of course it’s important for men, as it is for all of us, to have meaningful connections and communicate freely with those who love them. But I also think it’s unfair, and actually pretty patronising, to assume that boys and men should express and process their emotions exactly as women do, and that any differences they have are in some way defects. Most of the men in my life are generally more stoic, more self-effacing, and simply have less of a need to talk about their feelings. Of course everyone is unique and I can’t speak for all men — but what I can confidently say is this: the sort of empty and infantilising “empowerment” feminism women have been spoon-fed for years is not the solution for men in crisis. Let’s just say I struggle to believe that rising rates of male depression and suicide is anything to do with, as Moran argues, men not having the equivalent of the “Yass, Kween!’”, the “dancing girl emoji” or the shrieks of “Watch my girl go!” that women get.

Here’s the thing, though: I don’t think this stuff works for women either. My own frustration with Moran’s argument is not just that it’s facile or infantilising to men, but that her solution is to “look at what women have done.” She insists that we are now free and empowered, that we’re winning! We have “the future is female” slogan! We have Beyoncé! We have “feminist clubs and vagina merchandise on Etsy”! And “empowering lady anthems” like WAP!